1) I just remembered last night as I was falling asleep, that it was the summer I turned 20, not the summer I turned 19.
2) My girlfriend really detested the INVALID part--like, literally, detested it. I'll probably end up axing it, since it's not absolutely necessary and it seems to be more alienating than I really wanted it to be. Jarring, not alienating. I don't want to be hated for rubbing peoples noses in filth. I just want to construct a space that conveys my confusion, anger and cynicism at not only being faced with that decision but that I was lead to believe that I had to do something like it to be a "man".
3) I may change the "no man" writing on the mirror to "fuck this" and move that through-the-mirror shot closer to the end, to replace the close-up on the lips of the "fuck this". That'd further link the spaces together I think, establishing that all that was really what went through the character's head as he was faced with the decision. The other bonus is that it may heighten the suspense by stretching out the running segment--it would at least be closer to the motif Noel suggested. On the other hand, it may totally defuse the tension--I don't think it would; it's prolonging the moment, therefore it should be increasing the tension, as tension is derived from a suspension of resolution over time. I think I just paraphrased Hitchcock, but I'm not sure. On the other hand, since I've led the viewer to believe that they may already know the outcome, there may not be any tension at all...I think because I'm flashing back to the event in medias res, before it's happened, there will be more tension because they already know what's going to happen and maybe now they're afraid they're going to see it?
4) The "fuck this" I want to be carthartic. Cathartic with the realization that I didn't actually choose that path. I want it to feel good to hear that line, to realize that I didn't kill the boy. Using the testicle scene might, again, be too alienating to effectively communicate this. But it's a nice goddamn image...I suppose what I could do is use that as a back up if Jan won't be able to make it to the exterior shooting, but if he is able to, I'll film both and see which works better.
Listening to: The Fountain soundtrack